Colby College

Not Your Grandma's Dining Hall

In an effort to show students the art of moderation, Colby College in Waterville, MN has started serving beer and wine with dinner (21 and over, don't get excited freshmen).  Students started the program because they feel the college drinking scene is too polarized: alcoholics-in-training and Prohibitionists, nothing in between.  Dean of Students Janice Kassman says the program is classy, encouraging students “to have a drink and relax together... This wasn't some proposal for a Bacchanalian party.”  Whatever the intent, I think Bacchus would be pleased...  – E.M.

Washington

The Rise of Pre-Packaged T.V.

According to a New York Times expose, several federal agencies under Bush have been releasing stories to national news corporations and spinning a very different flattering side of a story.  New agencies have been using the T.V. segments and not citing their sources- i.e. the national government. Journalism 101- if you don’t state where you got the information, red lights should start flashing.  In this case however, even giving credit where credit is due probably wouldn’t have done much good considering many of the reports released were no less than simpering about the Bush administration.  And all parties benefit; no need to dig up stories for the journalists, job security for the public relations firm and the administration’s actions are cast in a shining light. Using fake reporters, false locations and public relations centers as news generators: a new era of journalism has been ushered in. – K.M.

Claremont High School

Stanford Grad Goes Undercover

College is infinitely better than high school.  You can survive on EasyMac alone and there are no nagging parents telling you to do your work and go to bed instead of watching the Simpsons at 4 A.M.  With all that college has to offer, why would anyone wish to relive high school?  Just ask Jeremy Iversen.  At the age of 24, the Stanford graduate recently posed as a student at Claremont High in order to research a novel.  He partied and went to class before “graduating” in 2004.  According to the SGV Tribune, the school board was aware of Iverson’s true identity but parents, teachers and students were led to believe he was just another kid.  During his time as a student, Ivers claims to have uncovered plenty of underage drinking, drug usage and casual sex - all of which he intends to write about in his upcoming book.  Ah, the sweet innocence of youth. – E.A.

Scripps College

Take That Larry Sommers

In response to the earlier comments of Harvard’s president regarding the suitability of women’s minds to the field of science, Scripps has indignantly joined with other members of the Women’s College Coalition to sponsor an ad that asks “Women Can’t Do Science?”  When Sommers gets done reading the list of women’s colleges included in the ad, he will certainly eat his words.  The vintage photos of a woman with a beaker is a clear indication that women and science belong together.  And if not, women can still bake and sew men right out of the lab. – K.M.

Chico State University

Boy’s Gone Wild

A few frat guys at the party-hearty Chico State invited cameras from Shane’s World, a low-budget production company, into their house and the resulting video is now for sale on the internet.  The Phi Kappa Tau fraternity is on suspension pending an investigation into the member’s participation within the porno and with the porn stars the company provides for the “shoot”.  Nick Hollingsworth, the Chico State Inter-fraternity Council president, expressed his disapproval with those members of the frat who participated in the film- “It’s definitely not chivalrous.”  Chico State hasn’t confirmed yet, but “there is a suspicion that alcohol was involved.” – K.M.

Five College

DDR: Dorky Dancers Reunited

As we are well aware, the Dance Dance Revolution craze came and went about two years ago, but it has come to light that there are communities reforming - perhaps they never left and only went underground - but they are back with a vengeance.  Their multiple Facebook clubs boast members from all 5Cs, and Claremont students everywhere are stomping and spinning themselves into exhausted delirium.  At any given night in the East Dorm Lounge of Harvey Mudd, 40 people can be found dancing the night away, one at a time.  People from other campuses stop by and play, including MacKenzie Stuart who proudly claims to have “stayed up ‘til seven in the morning playing.”  For those that don’t want to leave their rooms, the latest craze is Step Mania: you play with your fingers on a desktop version of the dance pad.  Unlike real DDR, it doesn’t have a calorie counter (“exercise mode, fourth from the top of the options menu,” says MacKenzie).  Apparently dorkiness is evolving too - therapy is being arranged. – K.M.

International

Keeping Up with the Canadians, Eh

A recent study comparing habits in the United States and Canada finds that, while more Canadian students drink, American students (true to our national reputation for excess) drink more heavily.  The College Alcohol Study, conducted in the spirit of friendly international rivalry by the Harvard School of Public Health and the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, suggests that American students show higher rates of heavy alcohol use (defined as 5 or more consecutive drinks for males, 4 or more for females).  American male students are more likely to engage in heavy drinking than female students; there is no significant gender difference in heavy drinking among Canadians.  Results from both countries indicate that heavy drinking is more common for underage drinkers, proving that some elements of culture transcend borders. – K.F.

Princeton University

A Not-So-Beautiful Mind

Michael Lohman, a third year student at Princeton’s applied and computational mathematics program, was charged with multiple counts of reckless endangerment, theft, harassment, and tampering with a food product – all against female Asian students.  The Ivy Leaguer is accused of cutting locks of hair from the women and pouring his own bodily fluids, including urine and semen, into at least 50 of their drinks while he worked in a school cafeteria.  During the investigation of Lohman’s apartment, police found “a quantity of women’s panties and numerous mittens” – none of which belonged to his wife of three years.  “In my 23 years in the department, this is clearly the most bizarre case that I’ve seen,” said Lt. Dennis McManimon.  Despite being banned from campus and arrested, Lohman still plans on continuing his dream to eventually become a mathematics professor – I hear Harvey Mudd has an opening. – A.H.

Claremont Student

Say Goodbye to the Golden Years

Golden Krishna (Publisher) and Nate Rosenberg (Editor) are graduating and with them goes Claremont Student’s pioneering generation.  Nate and Golden started the paper in the fall of 2002 and quickly took it from 12 pages of mediocrity to its current 32 pages of crap.  Golden, a native of Idaho, will be attending a post-graduate summer program at Stanford Business School before looking for a job in San Francisco.  Nate plans to live with his parents in the city of his birth, Sacramento. – N.R.

National

For Your Own Edumacation: A College Sex Glossary

In part of a series on sex on college campuses, the Chicago Sun Times recently printed a glossary containing definitions of some of the terms we supposedly use on a daily basis.  The list, meant to educate the older population of the sexual goings-on of today’s youth, contains enlightening entries including: “Sohority: Sorority with a reputation for sexually adventurous members” and “Froshtitutes: Freshmen women eager to hook up”.  So don’t be surprised if your parents ask you if you’ve been out doing “laps” of the bar, “jukin’” to the music, looking for a “blackout baby” so you can take the “stride of pride” (or “walk of shame” for you girls) the next morning. – A.H.