Hey Nympho!

Come again?

By Valerie Vixen
Staff Writer

Q:  Sometimes I feel like I’m going to pee when I’m having sex with my partner, so I pull back from coming. What’s going on? Is there something wrong with me?

               -'Golden Showers??' (SC)

A: Congratulations, you’ve come close to female ejaculation! There is absolutely nothing wrong with you...not all the wet spots on your bed have to come from him!

The sensation you are feeling is caused by (and I’m about to get technical here, so bear with me) the expelling of fluid from your paraurethral glands, which are stimulated during sexual intercourse or masturbation.  Basically, the glands surround the urethra on all sides and empty into it through many ducts. The number and size of the glands vary from woman to woman, but most women can feel the glands through their vaginal wall when they are stimulated and filled with liquid- this is the G-Spot.  A woman’s pelvic muscles contract during orgasm, and this causes the liquid to be expelled through the urethra.

The ejaculate is often mistaken for urine, but it isn’t.  Instead, it is an alkaline liquid composed of a mixture of an enzyme called prostatic acid phosphate (PAP) and glucose (a sugar).  It is a clear, odorless liquid-don’t worry, it won’t stain your sheets. Sometimes urine does get mixed in with the ejaculate, but emptying the bladder before sex can help eliminate this.  Amounts of ejaculate vary from woman to woman and even from sexual encounter to sexual encounter, but are usually between a teaspoon and a quarter cup.

If you are still afraid to ‘let go’ during sex, I would suggest practicing with masturbation.  A G-Spot stimulating dildo is a good-- bet (they’re curved up at the tip), but fingers can work well, too.  Again, make sure you pee before trying this. Lie down on your back with your knees in the air, with a towel under you. Clitoral stimulation is important to ejaculation as well, so start off with some clitoral massage. While doing that with one hand, use your dildo or fingers to stroke the upper wall of your vagina.  Continue doing this until you are about to orgasm; when you feel like you’re going to pee, go with the flow (literally)! Release your muscles like you’re going to pee, and just let it come.  This might take several attempts, but be patient-eventually you will experience more intense and satisfying orgasms.

Make sure you explain to your partner that you are ejaculating, not peeing on them, and I am sure he will be thrilled that he is able to bring you to orgasm and really see and feel the fruits of his labor.  Careful, though, you won’t be able to fake it anymore!

Just a few last tips:

-To drive the point home, pee before having sex. This also helps to reduce incidence of urinary tract infections.

-Keep some towels on hand if you are going to sleep in the same place you’re having sex, or don’t want to get it on your sheets.

-Sex in the shower is a great way to avoid clean-up  but make sure the people you share a bathroom with are ok with it. 

-If your partner is performing oral sex on you, you may want to return the courtesy of letting them know when you’re going to come. No one wants that in their eye!   (Just kidding- the ejaculate doesn't come out with that much force.)